Reader's Questions And Answers :: Double Your Dating CA

Let me set all of you guys straight who might still possibly be on the fence at this point. Get David's book. I haven't read it yet - I'm still crackin' up over the newsletter. I'm an attractive woman architect who works in a man's world and would have it no other way! I'm athletic, but still feminine. I'm pretty conservative and don't cuss (anymore) so I'm proof that it's not just the rough women that get turned on by the sport of a challenging male. David's right - I have a lot of male friends and most of them want to be more than friends. I could never put my finger on it before I started reading David's newsletters - they were nice and I've certainly dated guys that weren't nearly as good looking as them, but it's clear to me now. My guy friends are wusses. Cocky + funny = SEXY! Don't ask me why, just do it. I wish more of you would.

By the way, David, the chicks out here that read (and appreciate) your newsletter, need a formula, too.
Sincerely,
ks in Kansas City

My reply:
OK, first of all, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

I was just thinking to myself:
"You know, it sure would be great to meet an athletic, feminine woman with a good job... maybe an architect or something." I don't know about the conservative, no cussing thing... maybe I could adapt.

But to my credit, I'm NOT squishy, I have NO IDEA how to make a strawberry daiquiri, and I hate purse shopping. I do, however like to host an occasional tupperware party.

Think about it and get back to me. Oh, back to your comments...

Thank you for writing in and providing another perspective. I wish that more women would be as open and honest about what attracts them. I personally think that women like you who have their lives together are too busy ENJOYING life to take the time out to teach the mass of WUSS-BAG men out there how to stop with the purse shopping and tupperware. Thanks again for your email... I love sharp, honest women.

Dear Dave-
Your material does a great job bringing to the masses what are innate qualities in the naturally-successful-with-women types. Your book is almost a study of human behavior, like something Dale Carnegie would write (I doubt he was as successful with women though). Anyway, I have a problem with one half of the magic formula, the 'cocky' part. I've always had success with deadpan-style humor, with no facial expression whatsoever, and most of the time people can't tell if I'm being funny or not based on my expression.

This is where I hit my problem: if I make a cocky/funny type comment, I'm afraid I'll come off as arrogant if I don't give a smile or something. But in your book it says something along the lines of things being funnier if it's difficult to tell if you're joking. So my question is: Is it okay to smile while being cocky and funny and busting on girls? Or should I keep a straight face all the time?

I'm not sure if this email makes any sense, but I think you'll be able to figure it out. Great stuff, and hurry up with the next book!
BW
Seattle

My Reply:
Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny, you must give up your fear of coming across as overly arrogant. The secret lies within the FUNNY ingredient of the formula. A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you haven't seen him, go search online and find his Star Wars video clip. You'll laugh until you cry...

Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece. You'll notice that Triumph is RUTHLESS with the sarcastic comments... but THEY'RE ALL FUNNY.

And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, he might throw in an "I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he does do it on occasion. If you feel like your comment might have been taken too seriously, try a "sly smile". It's a combination of squinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips, and doing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch. In any event, you need to get over your fears, and get out there and do it! You'll find the balance.

Hey Dave,
Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that combines two points you've made in the past:
1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting on her verbally while your actions are gentlemanly)
2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink

So I use the hotties at work as target practice, honing my game. BUT - I tone it down a bit and always do really nice things for them, like if they need someone to carry a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive enough for THEM to date (keeping me out of trouble at work), but PERFECT for a friend of theirs. Hotties hang with hotties, and so far I've been set up with three fiiiiiine young ladies this way (note: it helps to work for a big company so you have a good selection and distance between parties). Now, the friend has heard that I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it - then WHAM! I bust out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again, contrast added to c+f. (As one said, "I heard you were kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really are!" For the record, I'm slightly above average.) So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring major action on date one. I'm keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand work connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part of the fun. I let NO ONE get too close too soon, and things continue hot 'n' heavy at MY pace, and everyone's happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but it's sure worked for me. You rock!!!
M.B.
Chicago