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But what exactly IS
fear?
And why is it such a problem?
And what can be done to overcome it?
Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll move on to some
techniques to get past it.
I once heard a great definition of FEAR:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
In other words, the things that you feel fear about are usually not
real. It's usually just "false evidence". You also might think back
about the last 10 things you felt fear around. Now, ask yourself...
Did any of those things come true?
In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear did NOT come true.
I heard once that something like 98% of the things that people fear
and worry about never come true. I've found this to be true in my
own life, of course.
Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's an amazing and
wonderful emotion... because it can help save your life in certain
situations. A hundred thousand years ago, when we were running
around in the desert, we needed powerful, motivating emotions like
FEAR to save our lives.
When you feel fear (especially if it's a response to real physical
danger) you'll notice that some AMAZING things happen. Your eyes
open up wider so you can see better, adrenaline pumps into your
body, your heart beats fast to deliver blood to your muscles, and
all kinds of other wondrous processes are triggered.
The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times when there IS NO
real physical danger.
We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE things and feel fear in
response to the mental images. And I'm sure you know exactly what
the problem is with this... it can IMMOBILIZE you at critical times.
Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to meet, but you just
couldn't walk over and start talking to her?
No, it's never happened to me, either. What was the problem?
Usually, it's fear.
Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll have a boyfriend...
or fear that she'll embarrass you in front of others... or fear that
you won't know what to say to her...
And, of course, when you feel that strong fear emotion, it just
FREEZES you and makes you totally ineffective.
So what's the solution?
Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.
One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do the thing that you
fear, and see that nothing bad will happen, then you eventually
overcome it and become programmed not to feel fear anymore.
For instance, if you're afraid to approach women and talk to them,
just DO IT. Go talk to 50 women in the next week and see that most
of them will respond positively to you (if you don't act like a
dumb-ass, that is).
Other ways include:
-Understanding the dynamics of male/female interactions better than
most women do.
-Learning how to approach women using the same types of words and
body language that the masters use.
-Learning how to use props or other devices to get a woman's
attention without having to "approach" her directly.
-Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or "reset" your
emotions instantly, anytime you'd like (this is one of my personal
favorites).
-Using mental preparation to be completely ready for anything that
might happen.
...and there are several others.
I have spent a lot of time in my own personal life learning about
and figuring out how to get past fears and other psychological
obstacles with women.
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