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Dave,
I'm still having great success with a rekindled marriage using
you're Tips on my wife. Thanks a million. Listen, I keep reading
over and over in the MailBags guys wanting to know how to start,
then keep a conversation going with women. I work for a major oil
company and have been through many of there training courses on
dealing with people. One particularly interesting course was on
"Information Seeking". For this we first practiced picking up on
"Key words or phrases" the subject said. For instance, I'll try and
give an example using c&f even though you wouldn't use this
professionally on the job. Lets say you see this great looking chick
on the street and you tell her, "That's an unusual looking dress
you're wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?" She says,"
Your mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy store." Key Words:
Old Navy. "Oh, so you're in the Navy, huh?" "No silly. You know, the
big store over at the Mall." Key word: Mall. "Oh, so you like going
to the Mall and buying strange looking dresses do you? Do your
girlfriends buy them also?" "My girlfriends are neat dressers and my
dress is very popular I'll have you know!" Key phrases: "girlfriends
are neat dressers" and "dress is popular". "Well, if your
girlfriends are neat dressers in a popular dress like you're wearing
then I'm going into the shower curtain clothing business..." I know,
this is a lame example but the lessons are this.
1) You start a conversation with however you want then pick out key
words or phrases from what the person says.
2) You repeat them in what you say then listen for new key words in
there next response.
3) You add a little something new into the conversation REPEATING
there words you're using as Key words or
phrases. This tells them you're listening, even though you're
turning things around to be c/f in this situation.
Once we learned to keep someone talking for 5 minutes, then 15
minutes the company actually hired total strangers from a job
soliciting company to come and be our subjects. While being
videotaped we had to get the person talking and keep them talking
for 30 minutes. One important note: If a person brings up something
personal or whatever, they wouldn't have mentioned it if they didn't
want to talk about it. These are great to Key in on. My subject
mentioned she was going through a divorce and her exhusband was a
total jerk. I keyed in on this and it's amazing what a total
stranger will tell you once you build a little rapport. When
watching the video you pick up on mistakes or you see something
different you could have said. You also pick up on Key words and
phases you missed. It just takes a little practice. This is just one
example of how you can start a conversation and keep it going.
Hopefully it can be of help to you're readers.
JTM
Texas
>>>My
Reply:
Awesome.
This is an EXCELLENT description of how to keep a conversation
going, keep it interesting and unpredictable, and talk about
ANYTHING and have it be fun.
Read it again.
Now let me sprinkle a little magic dust on this, and tell you how I
use this technique personally.
When I'm having a conversation with a woman, I'm not just listening
for ANY key word... I'm listening for a particular KIND of key word
(or words).
I'm always on the alert for any words or phrases that can be
twisted, turned around, misinterpreted, and misconstrued (is that a
word?) in one of a few particular ways...
...namely in a way that says she stupid, ditzy, sexually crazed, or
acting suspicious.
For instance, in your example above you suggested the following:
"That's an unusual looking dress you're wearing. Was that made out
of a shower curtain?" She says," Your mean! No, I bought this from
the Old Navy store." Key Words: Old Navy. "Oh, so you're in the
Navy, huh?" "No silly. You know, the big store over at the Mall."
Key word: Mall. "Oh, so you like going to the Mall and buying
strange looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them also?"
"My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I'll
have you know!" Key phrases: "girlfriends are neat dressers" and
"dress is popular". "Well, if your girlfriends are neat dressers in
a popular dress like you're wearing then I'm going into the shower
curtain clothing business..."
Good. Nice one.
Now, let's dial it up a little bit...
She says "No, I bought this from the Old Navy store..."
Instead of just keying into "Navy" and saying "Oh, so you're in the
navy, huh?", why not take it to the next step and actually MAKE FUN
of her.
"Oh, so is this what guys used to wear in the Navy a long time
ago... in the OLD Navy?"
Now you're BUSTING on her as well, AND it's funny. She says "No
silly. you know, the big store over at the Mall." You might try
"What kind of MALL are YOU shopping at? And do your girlfriends buy
dresses like that one too?"
Again, you're hinting that she has funky taste and she shops in
weird places. She says "My girlfriends are neat dressers and my
dress
is very popular I'll have you know!"
You could go with "Oh, you have girlfriends? You have more than one?
Do they all know that you think of them as a girlfriend? Or is one
of them the special one? By the way, if you have cute girlfriends,
then I think you and I are going to get along VERY well."
...are you with me here?
What I'm doing is NOT ONLY looking for key words to latch onto, but
I'm ALSO looking for ways to spin them to make fun, tease, and
subtly suggest various kinds of "racy" topics.
When done in a funny way, it's magic. Once upon a time, a guy I know
very well went into a nightclub. He was talking to a girl at that
club for awhile, when she said "Well, I'm getting tired. I think
it's time for me to go home." The guy answered "Go HOME?! I just met
you. I'm not going HOME with you!"
She said "No, I mean I'M going home. I'm tired."
He shot back "Maybe you don't hear me. I'm not going home with you,
so don't even ask anymore."
She said "No, that's not what I'm saying..."
He replied "And besides, I'm sure my place is nicer than yours... so
if anything, you're coming home with ME."
This went on and on for about an hour or so. And you guessed it, she
went home with him.
I saw it happen with my own two eyes.
Another off-the-wall (but pretty funny) example of this is a story
that a good friend of mine told me about one of his friends. His
friend was talking to a girl at a club, and she was talking about
what kinds of things she enjoyed doing with her spare time.
She said "...I like to go clubbing..."
He came back with "Oh, like baby seals?"
lol... Now, that might not get a girl to come home with you, but
it's damn funny. Love it.
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